The one about the mouse…

We have a mouse.

Actually, to be honest, we have had at least 4 mice.  2 were caught in non-kill traps and released into the forest to either live happy little mousey lives, or become part of the food chain.  (We are realists, after all). Continue reading The one about the mouse…

The Official 2017 Eurovision Drinking Game.

The Official 2017 Eurovision Drinking Game. (All rights reserved)

Requirements: Alcohol. Dress up items from country of choice. Alcohol.  Eurovision Broadcast.  Alcohol.

I take no responsibility for hangovers or liver failure if you follow this to the core.  Your choice, I just make it up 😉

Download your copy here.  (Best pop it in a plastic sleeve if you’re going to play along to prevent stains and spills 😉 )

Continue reading The Official 2017 Eurovision Drinking Game.

The one about the breakup…

Dear Albert Heijn,

We need to talk.  I feel we’ve come to a point in our relationship of over 3 years where we can be honest with each other.  You’ve been there through modified bedrest,  premature deliveries and anxious parents of twins who are afraid to leave the house . You’ve come in snow, rain and heat with my crazy orders of 10,000 diapers and a bottle of milk. Most of the time you get my order right, and I get everything on my list – and I’ve forgiven you for the times that you’ve  been out of stock on toilet paper and cucumbers, forcing me to leave the comfort and safety of my house for the real world.

Things have been good between us, haven’t they?  You’ve had a loyal customer who loves your home deliveries and looks forward to the monthly delivery of all the stuff I can’t be bothered lifting or carrying home.  I’ve had some good service and who can complain when you send around that good looking delivery driver who drops the load right in your kitchen and smiles at you as he asks you to put in your PIN …

I have to admit though, my attentions have been straying.  Things are getting expensive, and I’ve been forced to look around at other options.

And then, today, I cheated on you.

I discovered someone else delivers to  my door.  They offered me free delivery on items that I actually purchase.   They had good deals.  It was all so tempting.  Cautiously,  I compared side by side on some of my regular products – and they were cheaper!  I found myself clicking and building a shopping list and then … I ordered from someone else.  But it doesn’t end there.  I realised that I had already ordered from you  the same day! What was I going to do if you met on my doorstep?  I carefully scheduled a delivery time later in  the day, and prayed that you wouldn’t meet.

You were late this  morning. Nervously I paced the kitchen, hoping that you wouldn’t meet the new supermarket in my life.  When you finally arrived, I paid quickly, ushered you out and then raced around, putting things away so there was no evidence for when the next driver arrived.

And then, the new blood came. On time.  And he was so friendly, so nice, and  so efficient, I began to fall into a trance.  Everything was in my order.

Things used to be  good  between us.  But now, you have competition.   The cliche is “It’s not you, it’s me…”.  I’m beginning to think maybe it is you …

As for next month, well, it depends on  how things go.  I’ll still pop down to you  to get the occasional  thing, but for deliveries, I’ve tasted a new world. And I liked it …

Sincerely,

Stephanie